Intervarsity games datang lagi dan alhamdulillah semua baik-baik saja. Tiada gaduh-gaduh. Cuma perasaan tu datang lagi. Aku malas la nak cakap kan tapi fikiran tu menghantui aku, lebih teruk kali ni mengganggu DnT aku.
Perasaan macam mana eh?
Dari zaman sekolah rendah lagi, aku memang cemburu dengan atlet ni. Nak kata tak cuba, aku rasa macam-macam aku buat dulu masih tak jumpa tempo dalam sukan. Lebih cemburu dulu masa crush aku pun menaruh hati kat pemegang rekod pecut & striker sekolah. Haih. Haha.
Bukan tak cuba tapi memang tak boleh.
Misalnya untuk VIG ni pun aku train tiap-tiap minggu sampai 2-3 kali seminggu untuk berbulan-bulan. Siap timbang kat rumah beberapa kali seminggu. Tapi tup tup orang yang datang latihan saat akhir, training pun seminggu sekali je, pastu dia lah yang lagi mantap & main masa game dan sumbang pingat.
Dulu lah, aku pernah ada fikiran sampai rasa lebih baik aku ni tempang atau buta supaya aku ada alasan konkrit kenapa memang tak perform dalam sukan.
Jadi ni mungkin kali terakhir aku cakap pasal sukan kot. Peluang terakhir Allah bagi tapi aku tetap gagal. Satu je nak cakap, aku benci kat diri aku sebab ni! Entah lah tapi sumpah aku benci gile kat diri aku haha. Allah je tahu betapa aku menyumpah diri aku 24 jam sejak VIG hari tu. Aku langsung tak dapat main sebab aku lopek sangat. Ada kalanya aku benci dengan orang-orang yang boleh bersukan ni.
Benci faham tak? Benci gile babii macam tu.. haa kat diri sendiri la tapi
Tapi aku memang reda pun. Segala yang Allah jadikan tu adalah dengan hikmah))
x x x
Apapun ada la sesuatu tahun akhir ni yang aku buat jauh dari zon selesa aku. Sukan telah menarik aku keluar dari zon selesa aku cuma silap benda, sebab aku rasa sukan telah campak aku ke gaung murung yang sangat dalam sampai aku tak tahu macam mana nak bangkit semula..
Ok cukup Ubadah cukup XD
1 comment:
Ubadah, you have no idea how badly people envy you being smart, good looking, techy, a good prospect for a spouse and father, family guy. If i am now a guy your age, i would wish to be you. When you just hate the fact that you are no-sport guy, just so you know many others have less that what you have now. Just take me for an example, I have been dreaming of studying abroad, given a brainy brain, dying for a better look, watching snow for real having experience to be called "student ovesi" and what not. But no matter how hard I tried back then in school, I just couldn't secure a place. I too hate myself too much then. I wish i am that. I wish i am this. But then I realise do i really need to be like that. Is that what i really want in my life. When i started tolerating my flaws, i became happier. So i hope u could ask yourself the same questions. Do u really need to be good in sport. What do u want to prove by being athletic. Whom u would want to impress. Do i have no other option to contribute to this team. If it turns out to be nothing compared to your desire in becoming a doctor, then i guess you've got my point. U just can't get a hold of everything in this world. We are designed that way. Designed with particular expertise and flaws that we have to embrace and be grateful for. Please don't hate yourself too much. Please don't be sad over not being athletic. U deserves a pat on a shoulder. You've survived 25 years of living and is on still. From my very humble being, I wish you a happy and prosperous life, always. Oh and as usual, you can delete my comment if you find it disturbing.
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