my definition of photography; Y-I-ppy!

i've seen somebody else did this (pic above) in instagram so i try to do it as well. But despite the "hmm tak jadi punn", what was on my mind was, "one moment k,bertahan,,, kejap je" hahahha because it looks like i'm choking it! seriously! but its not a living thing! hahhaha. i think i've gone really deep in photography. It has been part of my life. Even the camera itself, i consider it as my bestfriend, never left me and the one i go out with if i feel frustrated.

But how? Whats so special about photography that made me go deep into it;

Its a skill which can merge in ANY situation and events; wedding, sport, travel, vacation, bussiness and also daily life. Even for ANY purpose; memory keeping, sight seeing, money, and even to mentadabbur alam ciptaan Ilahi. In short, EVERYTHING! Photography is a part of it, or at least can be part of it. We all know nowadays is a camera-everywhere era right? hha.

Very easy to get friends. I still remember last autumn a stranger *ruski somemore* poke me from behind, smiled at me and lifted his camera while saying privet (hi!). And when i was in Turkey, most of the time strangers talked to me because of the things (dslr and gopro) on my hand. Not to mention how many people *in Volgo* all out of sudden (sebelum ni tak pernah tegur pun) became veryy friendly to me, ever since i took and uploaded their pic. so,,,third point...

You can make people happy!! hahha...sometimes, when i go shooting,,,the best thing is when i direct and focus my camera to someone, then that/those people will smile in return, giving a peace, or sometimes giggling with their friends. Then when someone asked u to help them take their pic, they will appreciate it a lot if u do it professionally;as in like a photographer- take from different angles, zoom in, zoom out. People like it u know. They'd get happy! In return, you get happy!

You happy, Im happy! *Y-I-ppy!* :D

Last but not least, personally, this is the only thing i can go far without being frustrated being a person with slow-processing brain!

:)

Peluang entah ke berapa kali

Awal Disember 2014

Saja nak bercerita. Hmm pengalaman yang sangat getir. Satu hari aku bergerak pergi untuk training sukan. Dalam perjalan ke stesen bas, ternampak seorang lelaki acu-acu pistol then taknak cari pasal, aku ignore. Jangan gatal mata nak pandang. Then sampai stesen bas, aku naik mashrut, duduk di kerusi belakang. Bayar proezd. Baca mathuraat sambil2 tunggu mashrut gerak.

Tiba-tiba...

Orang yang ada pistol tu pun masuk. Dah la ada pistol, pastu mabuk. Pendek cite, dia mintak kat seorang laki ruski ni, dia nak duduk sebelah aku. Then dah dapat duduk sebelah aku, dia pulas pistol dia, menandakan peluru dah dilaraskan dalam lohong pistol. Tinggal nak tarik picu je, panggg! haha tapi belum lagi. Pastu dia borak-borak ngan aku. Dah la mabuk. Sambil-sambil tu pistol tu diacu2, dirapat2kan ke dada aku. Aku pun layan je...

source

Masa ni hanya Allah je tahu tahap ketawakalan aku. Dah bayang2kan family. Dah fikir pasal hutang2 yang belum bayar. Dah fikir pasal orang yg aku sayang. Fikir dosa2 yang belum sempat taubat/tebus. Banyakk huhu..Malah, dah mengucap siap2 dah. Sebab dalam keadaan mabuk apa2 pun boleh terjadi di luar kewarasan akal, antara alasan kenapa Islam mengharamkan arak.

Ada satu masa dia tanya pasal duit. Tapi aku cakap ada sikit je duit. So dia suruh aku mintak kat pakcik depan tu. Pakcik tu terus keluar dari mashrut tu. Then ada makcik and pompwan masuk, kejap je diorang keluar balik. haha. Diorang pun lari, takut. Apatah lagi aku yang tersangkut dan diacu2 pistol ni. Lepas tu sampai satu stesen bas ni mashrut berhenti, dia ajak aku keluar. Tapi aku cakap tak sampai lagi destinasi aku. So dia tak jadi keluar...aiiii...

Tetiba aku cam geram plak, nak turun, turun la...jangan ikut aku woi! So sementara mashrut tu tak bergerak aku keluar cepat2, pastu dia ikut jugak plak...aaaaa...tiba2 ntah camne aku secara spontan tertinggikan suara,

"ЗА ЧЕМ СО МНОЙ?!" (why with me?!) *beerterabur ruski :p *cuak

Tak tahu nak cerita camne situasi ni, tapi aku masuk semula mashrut tu. Dia cam tercegat kat luar, speechless, then dia bebel-bebel apentah dari luar. And aku suruh driver mashrut tu gerak cepat-cepat sebelum jadi apa-apa. Keadaan aku masa tu, terketar2 kot. huhu.

Apapun, alhamdulillah. Allah masih bagi peluang untuk aku hidup. Allah masih beri peluang untuk aku bertaubat. Allah masih beri aku peluang untuk merasai nikmat sihat ni. Kalau aku kena tembak and cacat, camne dengan hidup dengan perasaan serba salah menyusahkan orang lain. Kalau mati time tu, agak2,,,,bagaimana aku nak berhadapan dengan Dia kelak,,berjuta dosa yang dibuat dan entah apa jasa aku untuk islam. Apa yang aku nak persembahkan pada Allah nanti?

"Allah". Doesn't it trigger u anything?

"i'm feeling like quitting this job,,i feel alone they don't want to 'work'"

After all they are not as what i thought of 'em before. They just need to be triggered by something. And what, it's not because they didnt want to work, but they actually have something bigger than this. A bigger job than this one. Maybe it's just me who thinks this job is the most important. Priority. (ye lah dakwah umum kan) But now I'm pretty sure there are tougher works which i don't know but they involved in. So i can't simply judge them.

They are busy with something i don't know. Something bigger, tougher and more important. Deeper, not superficial like this...but they proved me wrong.

Together, we managed to organize an event. First Azam Volgo's open event which involve all Malaysian student asscoctions in Volgo. And its open to everyone, forget about skin colours,,forget about believes...everyone was invited. And only 1 week planning, last minute planning with a lot of ideas yet so little times, more got many colloq and tests (esp to us 3rd years), no meeting at all, a lot of problems...but finally everything went according to the plan. All of it wont happen without His will. Alhamdulillah3x...

I hope, AZAM in Volgo becomes more well-established.
I hope this *or any* get together event will be continued in Volgo in the future.
I hope all members of Volgopeople will unite as a family...despite races or religions.
before this, everytime people heard about azam event, usually its only for muslims.
but Islam is for all,,so why not we do more open event from now on...
so that it can attract more people toward islam,,especially the muslims themselves, not the mention the non muslims as well...

Well, after all...this is the first time we work together. Everyone in HICOM get involved. It feels merrier than none before. It is how we should work. Lets. We do more! hehe. Why not, Allah is our treshold. And He always be there so we also must be triggered all the time! ohh i love u guys bcoz of allah >,<

But, am i the only one who feels this....

hmm....

let say its the last time we work together as a team, as a body, as comrades...i hope they know how much i appriciate it,,and thanks...thanks and sorry for everything...

How about NO

Sebenarnya aku ni agak fobia untuk minta tolong orang. Sebab aku kalau apa-apa benda yg aku buat aku selalu go deep. So aku takut kecewa kalau orang taknak tolong ataupun buat tak ikhlas. Sebab tu dalam banyak2 benda yang aku buat/belajar, aku prefer buat/belajar sendiri je. Tak perlu fikir pasal orang, tak perlu fikir pasal perasaan diri.

Tapi sekali aku ringankan mulut untuk minta tolong, then you are something! haha...Betapa tinggi harapan dan kepercayaan yang aku letak untuk orang tu. Aku percaya dia takkan kecewakan aku. Aku mempertaruhkan fobia aku tu. Aku mengharap. Tapi bila segalanya tak seperti yang dirancang, hanya Allah je tahu perasaan aku waktu tu. Dan bukan nak tujukan pada sesiapa pun. Ya la kan setiap orang ada kebolehan dan kekurangan masing2, atau masalah yang dia sedang hadapi. Jadi dia memang tak dapat nak tolong. Tapi bila situasi di mana aku pertaruhkan rasa fobia ni untuk minta tolong then aku 'kalah' pertaruhan tu...........rasa.....ntah la hhahaha...sebab aku sendiri sanggup susah2kan diri untuk bantu orang. Malah abuya selalu pesan jangan perhambakan diri pada orang...........even kawan sendiri pun. Itu saya agak bangkang sebab pada saya apa gunanya kawan. Tiaada istilah memperhambakan diri buat kawan, tapi bekorban.

Tapi kalau orang tu, bila dia minta tolong kita, kita bantu....bukan saja semampu badan, malah korbankan masa lapang, duit dan tenaga semata-mata kerana kita percaya "ohh takpe lah mungkin lepas ni aku susah dia bantu" tapi dialah orang yang kecewakan aku...di saat aku memerlukan pertolongan di saat-saat ini...dan alasan yang dia beri sangatlah....hmmm...alasan sekadar untuk lepas diri.
.
.
.
Mungkin salah aku juga sebab terlalu mudah untuk "memperhambakan" diri buat orang. Sering sangat go deep dalam apa2 relation pun. Sensitif. Lepas ni, aku kena lebih heartless untuk cakap "NO"...ok? ok :)

Reconstructing my priorities.

Sejak akhir-akhir ni ramai plak yang tiba-tiba tegur/bagi nasihat pada aku. Tak tentu pasal nak kata aku ada fail or buat apa2 benda pelik takde. Ke ada? hhaha. Hmm bukan kata terasa atau marah bahkan rasa berterima kasih pada mereka semua. Semua teguran tu menunjukkan usaha diorang untuk membantu aku berubah lebih baik and that's what friends for kan. Serta tak kurang yang secara tak langsung nampak concern hehe. Semua ni tak lain adalah satu cara Allah tegur aku. Kadang2 tu mungkin kita tak sedar kan dan sebelum kita terlajak jauh Dia tegur.

Dan entah kenapa, dalam persahabatan aku lebih mementingkan bagaimana mereka menegur atau membetulkan kesalahan aku berbanding memuji. Even dalam benda2 seni pun kritikan dan komen tu lah yang banyak membantu aku untuk improve. Asyik puji je memang comfort zone la hasilnya takde inisiatif nak belajar lagi. Memang penangan teguran tu sangat hebat dalam memberi kehangatan dalam ukhuwah. Subhanallah.

Dan aku mengaku la aku silap. Kadang2 tu buat kerja persatuan sampai tak cukup tidur, malah sampai tak study. Rasanya selama 3 tahun kat sini sem ni lah yang paling banyak tak belajar medik2 ni. Padahal 3rd year orang kata tahun paling busy bagi medical student sebab final year utk pre-clinical kan. Tapi time momentum dan tenaga patut disalurkan ke akademik time ni lah nak buat benda lain. Kadang tu bukan sengaja tapi dah memang amanah kan. Tapi yang sorang sahabat kata, aku ni suka create kerja -,- no comment

btw inshaallah sekarang dalam fasa re-setting priority aku. :)

Hmm sebenarnya aku takut jugak. Orang kata kalau fasa menuntut ilmu pun boleh membantutkan kerja dakwah kita, apatah lagi fasa dah bekerja dan berumah tangga nanti. So time2 study ni lah nak kena latih diri kan. Tapi yang masalah aku sekarang takut tu dah ubah prioriti aku ke arah yang salah. Which is tak bagus sebab dakwah dan study tu adalah dua benda yang tak boleh dipisahkan. Pendek kata camne nak dakwah kalau study macam haram.

Ok fine, bercakap pasal dakwah. Satu lagi perkara yang ada tegur; jangan kecik hati kalau ikhwah2 tak ajak pergi program ke apa. Dah korang pergi senyap2, then yang bukan ikhwah pun tau tapi aku yang selalu bersama2 dengan korang ni tak tahu kenapa kan. So expect aku tak kisah? Ahh macam tak biasa je kan, i'm used to this feeling, getus hati aku. Ye lah sifat najwa' tu kan dari syaitan so aku tepis la awal2 supaya aku tak 'ditapis'. Tapi bagi orang yg dah masuk deep dalam usrah ni, sekurang2nya aku tahu kat mana kedudukan aku. :)

And alhamdulillah aku dpat tepis perasaan merajuk tu, sampaii la diorang sebut; uba terasa. -,- zzz

So tu je lah nak cakap. Memang itulah aku. 

Lagi satu kenapa aku suka buat kerja banyak2, sebab masalah orang2 kat sini even ikhwah2 sekalipun diorang taknak 'bekerja'. So aku rasa semua2 benda terpikul pada aku sebab kalau aku mengharap atau merungut pun, eventually tak membawa ke apa2 pun. nothing. So better benda yg memang aku nak nampak dalam society ni aku buat sorang2 pun tak kisah. Cth cam bridging the community projek VolgoPeople tu khadafnya aku nak orang2 kat volgo ni kenal satu sama lain.

Orang kata; 

if you want to go fast, go alone.
if you want to go far, go together.

Pada aku memang betul tapi aku nak go fast and far at the same time! Memang nampak aku alone, nampak aku buat kerja sorang2, yang tu supaya aku buat kerja laju,,,tapi aku tak keseorangan sebab penguat aku adalah Allah. Dan daripada Dialah aku dapat bakat dan idea2 untuk buat semua ni. Biar lah orang kata apa pun, tamak ke, SS ke (syok sendiri), ntahapapanta lagi, so far class mark pun tak otlichna tapi sangat ok dengan situasi aku ni. Takde yang terabai sovsem pun so far. Entah la ni belum kira pasal travelog, bisnes and sukan yg tiba2 je join. 3 sukan plak tu buang tabiat ke apa. -,-

Kalau orang tanya banyaknya masa buat semua benda2 tu.

Jawapan aku satu je; keberkatan masa. :)

Lagi sekali, jazakallah khairan khateera buat sahabat2 yang menegur dan concern. Esp pasal tarbiyyah dzatiyyah tu. Hanya Allah yg mampu membalas jasa baik kalian. Betapa korang tak tahu betapa aku sangat berterima kasih.

Doakan.

stay inspired to inspire others

I feel glad being one of them. They are best in their jobs and whats the most inspiring is they were willing to accept this job because they want to serve for society. Then you know even some of the society have said, why we need MSA they don't do anything (as in events)...Hmm actually it's enough if the society know how heartless ruski are. relate it with our jobs,,dealing with dekanat is not easy...and when i'm in MSA now i know la how hectic MSA is...it's not like another organizations; they find and create jobs/troubles but for MSA; jobs/troubles will come to you. So you have no choice but to face them. *they keep coming huhu

And at one point, maybe allah wants to test how sincere we are, so He gives something. Its about the people we serve; the community. I don't know how to explain but it shows how they are unsupportive to us. Due to that i almost lose faith in this society and as a result; i'm feeling like running away from this job. I don't want to serve for ignorants! hhu yeah not everyone is but one person is enough to make me feel stressed. You know i always go deep into everything...so, suddenly my moral down......then very soon i got this message

welcome... haha thx..uba pun gj...nak tahu satu benda tak...mmm kak xxxx kadang2 rasa macam mm aku buat benda2 ni..takde org appreciate pun...but then...tiba2 teringat uba... uba hari2 buat kerja...semua benda org akan minta tlg uba..tp uba chill sgt... bila terpikir pasal uba..malu sgt dengan sendiri..so apa yg kak mimi nak sampaikan..u inspire me so you really should keep doing a good job. let say ada satu point uba rasa penat sgt.. uba ingatlah..at least uba ada jadi inspirasi utk loser mcm kak xxxx haha

Credit to her huhu you know suddenly i feel like crying...and it gave me strength...i should not have been affected by ignorants! i should focus on those who still stay with us not those who leaves....and i know He puts me here for a reason and because of a reason as well....as a believer when it comes from Him, what i should believe is it is for good... cc: an-Nahl;30. So stay strong! trust Him! Being strong is important in order to inspire others. Because me myself sometime i feel inspired simply by seeing others very commited and consistent in doing their job i wish i be like them...

And i'm bery grateful He keeps my flaws and graces safe...huhuhuhu..people don't know me, i'm not that good, i'm not that strong, i'm not that happy,,,people come into my life and once they know me they leave....hmm how i wish i could fix it but what have i done to him?? i should move on!! huhu and now my roomate plak merajuk... :/

see how untidy is my place huhu (yesterday night)

Medical student Media Director

As i have predicted, yeah, i became the media director of Msian Studnt Assction of Volgograd 2014/15 session. I don't know but lately i've been addicted to this kind of thing, you know like all editting and relaying informations to the people stuffs. It's exciting on how the jobs are changing depending on the audience and situations over time, then you have to create your own styles,,u can't use the same design, words or photos. It keeps changing! Doesn't it sound exciting? HAHA. So of course i wasn't hesitated to accept the offer to run for that post. It's a part of learning. A chance to learn from a great teacher; experience.

Back then it was very hard *everyone started as an amateur and the beginngin is always the hardest aite*

When everyone spending their 'procrastinating time' to watch movie/ play game, i watch tutorial videoss...
When everyone relieving their stress by listening to music,chilling,,,,i do some editting...
When in occasions/events everyone are sitting, chatting,,i walk around standing all the time taking photos...
When everyone comes home srazu after class or go somewhere enjoying,,i go outing testing lenses/skills...
When others spending their money on travel/foods/fashion,,,i spend then on cameras...
And sometimes i even use my sleeping time to do this job...

And always when it comes to media, i'd do my very best. And this is who i am. People look at me as a media,,not to brag la tapi the EC rep said, i got the highest nomination by the community compared to any other posts in MSA. So it's like i don't want to dissappoint the #Volgopeople Lol

Hurmm few wishlists; which i want to state it here;

1- To work professionally more. To have a reputation, have a big circle of influence, have my own signature, and last but not least, being hired (what an honor) and paid. *who knows someday it may become one of my part time job*

2- Pass it down to those who have the passion to learn this media thing; im willing to teach someone photography, videography, poster desigining, photo editiing, and video editting. I'm looking foward on this and will not do this for granted. sincerely. :) anyone?

3- Use it for the benefit of this ummah or at least muslims community around me. We as a muslim must control the media because it's how people can be influenced easily. It's the easiest way of dawah. And what i always remind to myself, this is no others except from ALLAH; The One whom gives me this talent and my number 1 inspiration. allahu..so thats it..

wish me best ^^

one of my definitionS of "little paradise

*feeling determined!*

soft reminder; you are also a medical student! #pepergi #stustudy

melepas geram dengan lukisan

cukuplah semua yg berlaku dulu menjadi pengajaran. benda ni bukan soal hati tapi persahabatan. mungkin persahabatan itu adalah weak point aku tapi tak bermakna allah takkan uji. malas nak ungkit kisah2 dari sekolah lagi tp yg baru2 ini sangat menghancur leburkan hati aku. sedih bila orang yg kita banyak berkorban dan bantu, akhirnya dia suspect kita curi barang dia yg hilang tu. allah.

saya hampir menganggap dia sahabat, sebab saya tak pernah pun tinggal dengan sesiapa selama yg sya tinggal dengan dia. banyak perkara yg sya tak cakap dengan orang lain tapi saya cakap dengan dia. malahan, bagaimana sya dgn dia, begitulah sya dengan adik beradik sya.

pendek kata, saya jadi diri saya yg sebenar bila bersama dia. tak perlu pendam2, tak perlu tahan2. sempoi habiss..tapi..

takkan dia benci sangat dengan saya sampai saya nak tau apa punca dia menjauh dgn sya pun dia taknak bagitau?

malangnya masa dan komitmen yg ada tak mengizinkan sya untuk memikirkan puncanya. sorry lah. kau nak pergi, pergilah.

sya dah belajar. jangan terlalu mengharap pada kawan. pada sesiapa pun. saya ingat kalau berlaku lagi saya dah boleh adapt dengan perasaan ni. tapi hati saya masih rapuh lagi.

mungkin ujian demi ujian persahabatan ada sesuatu yg allah sediakan utk sya..
samada berupa nikmat atau yg lebih sakit, wA.

apapun, saya dah tawar hati dengan istilah2 sahabat ni.
yang ada cuma kawan, murobbi, etc..taknak meletakkan harapan yg tinggi kalau itu hanya untuk dihancurkan.

sya dah cuba jadi satu, tp ternyata sya sendiri pun bukan sahabat yg baik.